Script

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They look at the volcano, far off in the distance.

James: That’s where we have to go next. Do you think you can make it?
Kissy: Of course. It’s business.
James: Good.

They hike through high grass and scramble up the sides of a waterfall. Eventually they get close to the top.

Kissy: May I rest a moment?
James: Surely.

They sit.

Kissy: It’s hard work.
James: Mmm. Some honeymoon!

They kiss, but James hears the sound of a helicopter. They watch it fly overhead and head right into the volcano.

Kissy: It’s going down! Into the volcano!

Inside the volcano, the lake begins to open.

Intercom: Heliport to position.

Back outside, James jumps to his feet.

James: The honeymoon’s over. Come on.

The helicopter flies into the crater and lands on the movable helipad. The lake begins to close. By the time James and Kissy get there, it just looks like a lake again.

James: This volcano isn’t active, is it?
Kissy: It never has been. Not in my lifetime.
James: There’s been some terrific heat here recently.
Kissy: What happened to the helicopter?
James: It’s down there somewhere. Come on.

They begin climbing down to the lake.

Scene: the Pentagon

Flight Control: (on intercom) Stand by. Mark. Stand by for ten-second countdown. 10, 9, 8…
Army Man 1: All units throughout the world will remain at instant readiness so long as the spacecraft is in orbit.
Flight Control: …3, 2, 1. Ignition.

The American spacecraft takes off.

Army Man 1: This is it, gentlemen. All we can do now is wait and pray.

Scene: back at the crater

James and Kissy have made it to the water’s edge.

James: Is that deep?
Kissy: They usually are. Very.

James throws a rock in to guage the depth. They’re both surprised when it bounces off the surface.

James: It’s metal! Wait here.

He takes a few steps onto the lake. Inside, preparations are being made to fire the SPECTRE rocket.

Intercom: Heliport to takeoff position. Open crater.

James is surprised as the lake begins to move beneath him. He scampers back to Kissy and they hide as they begin to see what’s inside.

Intercom: Emergency crews to stations.

James: Get back to Tanaka. Tell him to come here with every man he’s got.
Kissy: Yes.

She heads back up the side as James pulls off his Japanese peasant shirt to reveal a ninja turtleneck. He puts on a ninja hood as well. He watches as the helicopter flies out of the crater. He then adjusts the suction cups on his knees and elbows. Carefully, he climbs down into Blofeld’s lair and starts down the side of the wall.

Intercom: Heliport to standby position.

The lake shuts again. James finds a kind of cave in the wall and jumps inside to hide.

Intercom: Astronauts to dressing rooms. Astronauts to dressing rooms.

James sees the SPECTRE astronauts climb aboard the monorail for the dressing rooms.

Intercom: Attention, attention. American target vehicle is now in orbit. Interception will take place in two hours’ time.

James takes off down a tunnel. The SPECTRE astronauts go into their rooms.