Script

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Scene: Blofeld’s apartment

Blofeld (still hidden) is speaking to two Japanese gentlemen. One of his henchman enters over a small bridge.

Blofeld: I must congratulate you, gentlemen, upon your superb equipment.
Japanese Man: We congratulate you, sir, on the way you handle it.
Blofeld: Our clients are satisfied with the progress so far?
Japanese Man: My government is quite satisfied.
Blofeld: Good. Hans!

The henchman reveals a large leg of lamb attached to a string.

Blofeld: You will see that my piranha fish get very hungry.

Hans throws the meat into the water off the bridge. The water begins to froth.

Blofeld: They can strip a man to the bone in 30 seconds.

Hans pulls up the string to reveal a bare bone is all that’s left. The Japanese men look a bit unsettled.

Blofeld: I have decided to ask for a little money in advance. I want the sum of 100 million dollars, in gold bullion, deposited in our account in Buenos Aires.

The head Japanese man rises in indignation.

Japanese Man: Our agreement states quite clearly that no money should be paid until war has broken out between Russia and the United States.
Japanese Man 2: This is extortion.
Blofeld: Extortion is my business. Go and think it over, gentlemen. I’m busy.

Back and the control room, Blofeld’s voice comes over the intercom.

Blofeld: Osato and Number 11, report now.

Osato and Helga head down to Blofeld’s apartment.

Blofeld: An unknown Englishman was in your office the other day.
Osato: Correct, Number One.

Blofeld holds out a slide from the x-ray pictures Osato took of Bond.

Blofeld: Do you know what gun this is?
Osato: Walther PPK.
Blofeld: Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.
Osato: But Bond is dead.
Helga: It was in all the newspapers.
Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive. Unless you killed him, Mr. Osato? Don’t tell me you let him go?
Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him.
Blofeld: And did she?
Osato: She failed.
Helga: You should have killed him yourself! You had plenty of opportunity.
Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure.

Blofeld’s foot moves to a pedal beneath his desk.

Osato: I know, but you see, I–
Blofeld: Go!

Osato turns to leave. Helga remains.

Blofeld: Well?

She follows Osato over the bridge. While she’s on it, Blofeld pushes the pedal and the bridge collapses, dumping her into the piranha moat. She screams as she’s eaten alive.

Helga: Osato!

Osato watches in horror as she disappears.

Blofeld: Kill Bond! Now!
Osato: Yes, Number One. Yes, yes, yes.

Scene: Secret Ninja Training Castle

Tanaka and Aki wait as James arrives in Tanaka’s helicopter.

James: Hello.
Tanaka: Bad news from outer space.
James: Yes, I heard it. Now the Russians are accusing the Americans.
Tanaka: Next time, it will be war.
James: We’ll have to get down to those volcanoes.
Tanaka: I agree.
James: We’ll also need a company of first-rate men. Do you have any commandos here?
Tanaka: I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top-secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja training school.