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I had a little nut-tree,
Nothing would it bear.
I searched in all its branches,
But not a nut was there.
“Oh, little tree,” I begged,
“Give me just a few.”
The little tree looked down at me
And whispered, “Nuts to you.”
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Spoiler warning! The lion loves to eat a lot of red and tender meat. The narrator is trying to entice him from his lair, but the lion will not say which meat is his favorite. Is it crispy pork or rabbit-pie? Is it curried beef or a big plump hen? The lion finally answers, “The meat I am about to chew / Is neither steak nor chops. IT’S YOU.”
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Spoiler warning! Jack and his mother are completely broke, so she sends him off to sell their old cow to someone wealthy. Instead he comes back with only one bean. She can’t believe his stupidity and throws the bean out onto the rubbish dump. Then she beats Jack with the vacuum cleaner handle. The next day they see that the bean has sprouted into a huge beanstalk. Jack is pleased, but his mother complains that there aren’t any beans for them to pick. Jack points out that the leaves above them are pure gold. She is entranced and tells him to climb up and cut them off. As he climbs, though, he hears a giant above say, “FEE FI FO FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!” Jack scurries down and reports back to his mother. She tells him it’s no wonder the giant smells him, as Jack never bathes and he stinks. She decides to climb it herself. Not long after, Jack hears the giant eat her up. He realizes that if he wants the gold, he’s going to have to wash. So he cleans himself thoroughly. When he climbs the beanstalk again, the giant doesn’t smell him at all. Jack waits til the giant is sleeping and then gathers up enough gold to make himself a millionaire. “A bath,” he said, “does seem to pay. I’m going to have one every day.”
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Spoiler warning! This song is sung by the Centipede to celebrate the fantastic flavor of the peach. He names all of his favorite foods, like hot frogs and noodles made from poodles and dragon’s flesh, but says he’d go without a million plates of each “for one small mite / One tiny bite / Of this FANTASTIC PEACH!”
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Spoiler warning! This poem is more gibberish that Willy Wonka makes up to scare the White House. (It sounds very reminiscent of Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” from Through the Looking Glass.) Charlie later thinks that the Vermicious Knids are the grobes mentioned in the poem.
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Spoiler warning! This song is sung by the Oompa-Loompas after Mr. Wonka tells of inventing Wonka-Vite. It’s almost a commercial jingle. It explains that each Wonka-Vite will give you twenty extra years to live and make you young and beautiful again.
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Spoiler warning! This poem is spoken by Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker as they admire themselves on a hot summer’s day. Aunt Sponge thinks she looks and smells as lovely as a rose. “But don’t forget,” Aunt Spiker cried, “how much your tummy shows!” Aunt Spiker thinks she’s is more beautiful, but Aunt Sponge tells her she’s only bones and skin. Sponge thinks she belongs in Hollywood in the movies. “I think you’d make,” Aunt Spiker said, “a lovely Frankenstein.”
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A woman who my mother knows
Came in and took off all her clothes.
Said I, not being very old
“By golly gosh, you must be cold!”
“No, no!” she cried. “Indeed I’m not!
I’m feeling devilishly hot!”
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Hey diddle diddle
We’re all on the fiddle
And never get up until noon.
We only take cash
Which we carefully stash
And we work by the light of the moon.
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Spoiler warning! Willy Wonka sings this song to taunt the great Knid that has just bashed his end into the Elevator. He notes that the Knid’s “backside’s as big as a bus!” He offers to get the Knid a doctor (who’s actually a butcher by trade) to fix the problem. The doctor gets a spear and tries to pop the “balloon”. Alas, it doesn’t pop, and the doctor tells the Knid he will have to sit upside-down for the rest of its life.
