Category: Media

“The Visitor”

Sections: Information | Plot Description | Fun Stuff 

Information

  • First published:
  • Connections:
  • Trivia:
    • In Vol 12, Issue 2 of the journal ANQ (published in 1999), Norton H. Moses points out that Dahl took the idea of this story from someone else’s writing: a nearly identical tale was included in Dod Orsborne’s memoir Master of the Girl Pat!

Plot Description

This is the first story in which we meet Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, noted seducer extraordinaire. It’s a story-within-a-story that begins as the narrator explains how he came to inherit all 28 volumes of his uncle’s memoirs. It’s interesting to note that the narrator seems to be Dahl himself: a letter from Oswald makes reference to “you and your three sisters,” and Dahl, of course, had three sisters himself. Note: this is a very adult story in tone and probably shouldn’t be read by any children without permission from their parents.

Spoiler warning! After inheriting his long-absent uncle’s books, the narrator reads through them all and desperately wants them to be published and shared with the world. Unfortunately the books contain many salacious details, including the names of many (married) woman that Oswald slept with and whose husbands would not find such a scandal appealing. After consulting with a lawyer, the narrator determines that the “Sinai Desert Episode” is probably safe to print. Before launching into this, the very last entry from the diary, the narrator describes his uncle and the singular effect he seems to have had on women. He was a fastidious man who collected walking sticks, ties made from spider silk, and Chinese porcelain. He had a way of speaking that seemed to hypnotize the listener (usually a woman) and put her into a spell of lust.

The Sinai Desert episode is dated 1946 and involves Oswald’s escape from Cairo following a romantic rendezvous with an aristocratic Moorish woman (and another man’s mistress). He decides to drive to Jerusalem via the desert road and search for scorpions to add to his collection. He succeeds with the scorpion but when he stops for gasoline the diseased attendant tells him that his fan belt has broken. He will have to spend the night in the desert and wait for a new fan belt to arrive. As Oswald resigns himself to this, a Rolls-Royce drives up and a wealthy man steps out. They quickly get to know each other and the rich man, Abdul Aziz, invites Oswald to spend the night at his house nearby. The man explains on the way that he chooses to live in such a wild location in order to protect his beautiful young daughter from the unwanted attention of men. Oswald is astounded when he meets the mother and daughter, and he can’t make his mind up which one he wants to seduce. They both go immediately to their own bedrooms, though, without giving him any indication of a possible rendezvous. He is disappointed but prepares to go to sleep. In the middle of the night, his door opens and a woman climbs into bed with him. After hours of energetic lovemaking, she slips out as silently as she arrived. Oswald believes he will be able to tell which it was by a bite mark he has left on her neck. But the next morning, BOTH of them are wearing scarves! As Abdul drives him back to the gas station, Oswald fishes for an invitation back to the house. Abdul doesn’t take the bait, though, and after a while he admits that there is another reason he lives in such an isolated spot. He has another daughter living in the house… and she has leprosy. “Dear fellow, you mustn’t alarm yourself like this,” he tells Oswald. “You have to have the most intimate contact with the person in order to catch it…” Shaking, Oswald returns to his repaired car and watches the Rolls-Royce drive back off across the desert.

“Vengeance is Mine, Inc.”

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Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! Two young men (the narrator and his friend George) are lamenting their state of poverty and discussing the morning’s newspaper. In it, a society columnist named Lionel Pantaloon reports some scandalous gossip about several prominent citizens. The narrator gets a brilliant idea. He reckons that the people Pantaloon insults would like to punch him in the nose, but they’re unable to because of their standing and position. He proposes that he and George start a business performing such acts of vengeance for a price. They come up with a list of services, such as giving someone a black eye and putting a rattlesnake (venom extracted) in their car. Then they have a number of cards printed explaining their business and listing their prices. They deliver these to the offended parties, and within two days they have several orders to fulfil. They begin to dream about the riches they’ll be paid and living in grand hotels. The narrator has another brainstorm and realizes they can get paid multiple times for the same act. Each customer will think that the vengeance was for them alone. Thus as they have three orders to punch Pantaloon in the nose, they decide to handle him first.

The plan is simple: Pantaloon is always at the Penguin Club late at night, so they’ll show up and ask for him to come out. George will punch him and then escape in the rented car the narrator has waiting. They telegram the three customers with the details of the encounter so the customers can watch. Then they procure a fake mustache for George to disguise him. At the appointed time, George approaches the doorman and passes him a note to give to Pantaloon. He claims to be a Soviet Consulate worker with a scoop for the famous columnist. Unable to resist the bait, Pantaloon comes out to talk with him. George gives him a tremendous punch on the nose that lifts him clear off his feet. He then dashes to the car and the two men escape. They drive quickly through the snowy streets but soon realize that they’re being tailed. Knowing they can’t escape, they stop. Instead of the police it turns out to be one of the customers. He explains that it was the funniest thing he’s ever seen and he happily pays them double their fee. He also advises them to get out of town quickly before Pantaloon figures out what happened. The men wait around another day to receive the rest of their payment and then catch a train out of town. They discuss their plan to bet the money on a horse race, and they daydream about how wealthy and important they’ll become. “Perhaps we might even get ourselves mentioned in Lionel Pantaloon’s column,” George muses. “That would be something,” the narrator answers.

Reviews

“The Upsidedown Mice”

Sections: Information | Plot Description 

Information

  • “Sort of written out and illustrated by Anthony Maitland”
  • Connections:

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! An old man of 87 named Labon lived alone in a house that was infested by mice. Labon hatches a plan to get rid of the mice. He starts by gluing mousetraps to his ceiling and baiting them with cheese. The mice just laughed. Then Labon glued his furniture and carpet to the ceiling, with everything hanging upside-down. When the mice came out that night, they grew alarmed. “This is terrible!” said a very senior mouse with long whiskers. “This is really terrible! We must do something about it at once.” They decide to stand on their heads, and they all end up fainting due to a “rush of blood to their brains”. The next morning, Labon gathered up all the unconscious mice and popped them in a basket. “So the thing to remember is this: WHENEVER THE WORLD SEEMS TO BE TERRIBLY UPSIDE DOWN, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP YOUR FEET FIRMLY ON THE GROUND.”

“The Umbrella Man”

Sections: Information | Plot Description 

Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! The narrator of this story is a 12-year-old girl who has gone to London with her mother to visit the dentist. The girl has a tooth filled, and then she and her mother go to a café afterwards. When it’s time to go home, they discover that it’s pouring rain and they have no umbrella. They decide to get a taxi. While they’re watching for a cab, an old gentleman sheltering under an umbrella approaches them. He asks for a favor. The girl’s mother is very distrustful of strange men. The old man explains that he has forgotten his wallet and would like to sell them his umbrella in return for taxi fare back to his home. He explains that it’s a very nice silk umbrella worth twenty pounds, but his legs are weak and he simply must take a taxi home. The mother likes the sound of the deal, but the little girl worries that they’re taking advantage of the old man. The mother offers to simply give him the cab fare, but he insists that they take the umbrella. The transaction is made and everyone is happy.

As the mother is proudly explaining the importance of correctly judging people, the daughter notices that the old man has quickly crossed the street and is hurrying away. “He doesn’t look very tired to me,” she said. The mother is displeased. “He’s up to something.” They decide to follow him and find out. They quickly follow him as he rushes through the rainy streets. Eventually they find themselves at a pub called “The Red Lion” and watch through the window as the old man enters and uses the pound note to pay for a triple whiskey. “That’s a jolly expensive drink,” said the little girl. “It cost him a twenty-pound silk umbrella!” They watch as the old man finishes his drink and goes to retrieve his coat and hat. Just before he leaves the pub, he smoothly plucks a wet umbrella from the coat rack and takes it with him. “So that’s his game!” the mother explained. They see him head back to the main street and sell the umbrella to another unsuspecting person. Then he heads off in another direction for another pub. “He could be doing this all night,” the girl says. “Yes, of course,” says the mother. “But I’ll be he prays like mad for rainy days.”

“They Shall Not Grow Old”

Sections: Information | Plot Description

Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! The narrator of this story is an RAF pilot fighting the Vichy French in Palestine during WW2. As the story begins, he and another pilot (“The Stag”) are waiting for the return of Fin, who flew out to check on some enemy ships. Eventually they realize that he should have been back by now, and even if he hadn’t been shot down, he’d have run out of gas. They inform the other pilots and officers that Fin is missing and discuss his girlfriend Nikki, a caberet singer in Haifa.

Two days later, an airplane is heard approaching the base. It turns out to be Fin, who lands and acts surprised when they ask him where he’s been. According to him, he’s only been gone for an “hour and five minutes”. He thinks they’re pulling a joke on him. It’s only when he goes to report to the commanding officer that he realizes he really has been gone for two days. He gets upset when he can’t explain what happened to him. The men decide to give him some time so he can try to remember.

A week later, the entire squadron is out attacking an enemy aerodrome. A pilot called Paddy is shot down and killed. Immediately Fin’s voice is heard on the radio: “I’ve remembered it… I’ve remembered it all.” When the men return to the base, Fin tells his story. He says that while he was flying his mission, he was suddenly enveloped in a thick white cloud. He tried everything to get out of it, and eventually he just put his plane into a dive in frustration. He didn’t hit land or sea though; he just kept diving. Suddenly the cloud disappeared, and he found himself flying in an endless sky of blinding blue. He saw a line of aircraft flying on the horizon, as far as the eye could see. He saw planes of every description. He somehow knew that “these were the pilots and air crews who had been killed in battle, who now, in their own aircraft were making their last flight, their last journey.” His own plane was caught up in a wind vortex of some kind and soon took its place in the line. Fin found that he wasn’t even flying and that all the controls were dead. The pilots on either side of him waved and he waved back. He felt supremely happy.

Eventually the line of planes began to dive and bank to the left. Fin saw a beautiful green plain below them, which “reached to the far edges of the horizon where the blue of the sky came down and merged with the green of the plain.” He also saw in the distance a bright white light, far bigger than the sun but without shape or form. It was brilliant but not blinding. He couldn’t look away from it. He wanted to fly towards it but the plane wouldn’t respond. As he descended further, he saw the the planes were all landing on the green plain. Hundreds of them were parked around. Fin came in for a landing but his plane wouldn’t touch down. It began to pick up speed. Fin gazed longingly at the light, knowing that if he had landed he would have been running towards it. He grew desperate as the plane continued to fly away from it. He tried to commit suicide by crashing the plane or ejecting, but something prevented him. He found himself back in the white cloud, and he gave up his struggle. He went to sleep and began to dream about his normal life. He dreamed about his mission, and then about landing at the squadron. This dreaming became reality, and he was unable to remember about the cloud and the pilots and the light. It wasn’t until he saw Paddy killed that he found himself saying, “You lucky bastard.” That’s when he remembered it all.

After Fin’s story, the squadron returned to normal. No one ever spoke of it. The campaign was coming to an end. One on of the last flights, the narrator saw Fin’s plane catch fire. “Hello Fin,” he called on the radio. “You’d better jump.” “It’s not so easy,” Fin replied. He said that his arms had been shot and he couldn’t undo his straps. As his plane dipped towards the sea, the narrator heard Fin saying over the radio, “I’m a lucky bastard. A lucky, lucky bastard.”

“Taste”

Sections: Information | Plot Description | Reviews | Criticism and Analysis | Fun Stuff | Teacher Ideas | Covers | Spanish Covers

Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! The setting for this story is a dinner party at the home of stock broker Mike Schofield. The guests include Schofield and his wife and daughter, the narrator and his wife, and a man called Richard Pratt. Pratt is a famous gourmet and enjoys showing off his knowledge of fine wine and food. He is also a thoroughly unpleasant man. Both times prior that Pratt dined with Schofield, the two men made a curious bet: Schofield bet that Pratt could not identify some special wine that he had procured for the night. Pratt had always won. On the night this story takes place, Schofield thinks that he will finally win one over on the gourmet. He has a very rare bottle of claret from a tiny chateau in France, and he boasts that Pratt will never be able to guess it. Pratt, who had been spending the night engrossed in conversation with Schofield’s daughter Louise, takes the bet and asks to up the stakes. He offers to bet two of his houses against the hand of Louise in marriage. Both Louise and her mother are against it, but Schofield manages to convince them to accept. He believes that Pratt has no chance of winning. Pratt then proceeds to smell and taste the wine, and he slowly begins to narrow down its possible origin. Eventually he gets the correct answer and Schofield sits there horrified. Just as Pratt is starting to get nasty about the bet, the house maid appears at his arm and offers him his spectacles, which he had misplaced earlier. He takes no notice of her, but she stands her ground and reminds him (rather loudly) that he left them in Mr. Schofield’s study on top of the filing cabinet when he went in there that evening… which is just where Pratt, on a previous visit, had advised Schofield to leave his wines to “breathe”. In other words, he cheated!

Reviews

Criticism and Analysis

Fun Stuff

Teacher Ideas

Covers

Taste
Redpath Press, 1986

Spanish Covers

Nórdica Libros, 2016
Nórdica Libros, 2016

“The Sword”

Sections: Information | Plot Description 

Information

Plot Description

Dahl retells a version of this story years later in Going Solo. His servant is renamed from Salimu to Mdisho in that version.

Spoiler warning! Dahl starts the story with a description of the many ships that arrive in west Africa every September with the monsoon winds, laden with goods to sell. From one of these ships, he buys a beautiful sword. He takes it home and shows his house boy, Salimu, how to clean it and care for it. Later, as Britain was about to declare war on Germany, Dahl was ordered to take a troop of locals and to guard a key road out of Dar es Salaam. Before he left on the mission, he explained to Salimu that they would soon be at war with the Germans, who would try to kill everyone. Dahl’s mission was successful, and he returned home a few days later to find Salimu and the sword missing. Salimu returned later that night, covered in sweat and brandishing the now bloody sword. He explained how he had heard they were at war with the Germans, and that he wanted to help. He remembered a rich German who lived over the hills, so he took the sword and ran four hours through the jungle to his home. He ran straight into the German’s house, found him sitting at his desk in his pajamas, and cut the man’s head off. Then he ran all the way home, triumphant and proud.

“The Swan”

Sections: Information | Plot Description 

Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! A boy named Ernie has been given a rifle for his birthday. Ernie is a violent, ignorant bully and hooligan. Raymond, another bully, is Ernie’s best friend. The two of them go off to hunt rabbits. On the way they run into Peter Watson, a small frail boy who is watching birds. Peter is their favorite victim. He’s smart and polite and nothing like them. They insult him and threaten to shoot him, but backoff when he reminds them that they’d be sent to prison. Instead they punch him and tie him up. Then they drag him to the railway line and tie him between the rails. When he realizes that they are serious about not letting him go, he tries to figure out how to survive the train. It passes over him and he is unharmed. The bullies are disappointed and decide on a new game. They march Peter to a nearby lake, a waterfowl sanctuary. They shoot a duck and force Peter out into the lake to retrieve it for them. When he tries to refuse, they hit him and beat him. Next they shoot a nesting swan. Peter retrieves it and hides the baby cygnets beneath from the bullies’ eyes. When he gets back on dry land, he turns on his captors. “That was a filthy thing to do! … You’re not fit to be alive!” Ernie gets an idea and claims that he can bring the swan back to life and make it flight around the sky. He takes the dead swan and cuts its wings off, and then he and Raymond tie them to Peter’s arms. Then they make him climb a high willow tree in order to jump off. When he doesn’t jump, they begin firing at him with the rifle. He remains hidden until one of the bullets hits him in the thigh. With a cry, he began to fall. Yet, the author tells us, there are some peoploe who will always be “unconquerable”. Peter Watson was one of these. He saw a light shining above the lake and spread his wings. Three different people reported seeing a great white swan circling over the village that day. Mrs. Watson happened to look out her kitchen window at the exact moment her son flopped down out of the sky. He fainted and she called for the ambulance. “And while she was waiting for help to come, she fetched a pair of scissors and began cutting the string that held the two great wings of the swan to her son’s arms.”

“The Surgeon”

Sections: Information | Plot Description | Magazine Scan

Information

  • First published:
    • January 1988 issue of Playboy
    • 12 pages
    • Artwork by Bruce Wolfe

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! Dr. Robert Sandy has recently saved the life of a Saudi Arabian prince, and as a reward he is given a very large diamond. Sandy is amazed when his local jeweler tells him it’s worth almost a million dollars. He rushes home to show it to his wife, who is just as excited. They’re going away for the weekend, though, so they decide to freeze the diamond into an ice cube tray in order to hide it from any thieves. When they return, they are shocked to see that their house has, in fact, been burgled. Everything in their kitchen has been smashed and thrown on the floor, including the contents of the freezer. The police are called and search everywhere, but they can’t locate the diamond. The next day, another surgeon at the hospital is operating on a young man with something lodged in his intestine. To the surgeon’s amazement, it is a large diamond. He and one of the hospital theatre sisters take it to the local jeweler to have it appraised. The jeweler recognizes it as Dr. Sandy’s and calls the police. Sandy is also notified, and by the time he gets to the shop the surgeon and sister are both in handcuffs. Sandy recognizes him and they tell him their story. He has the police release them and tells them to head to the hospital to arrest the recovering thief. The young hooligan had evidently made himself a drink in Dr. Sandy’s house, and he’d swallowed the ice cube!

Magazine Scan

January 1988 issue of Playboy Magazine

"The Surgeon" Magazine Scan

“The Sound Machine”

Sections: Information | Plot Description | Reviews 

Information

Plot Description

Spoiler warning! Klausner is a man obsessed with sound. He has a theory that there are many, many sounds in the world that humans are just unable to hear due to their high frequencies. He explains to his doctor that he has invented a machine that will allow him to tune in to those frequencies and convert those pitches into audible sound. The first time he tries it out in his yard, he hears shrieking in his headphones as his neighbor cuts roses from her garden. Each time a flower is cut, he hears a shriek. The next day, he tries a bigger experiment. He takes an axe and swings it into a large beech tree. He is horrified to hear the deep and pathetic moan that the tree makes in response. Klausner rushes back to the house and calls his doctor. “Please come. Come quickly. I want someone to hear it. It’s driving me mad!” he says. The doctor agrees to come over and listen to the headphones, but just as Klausner takes a second swing at the tree a large branch crashes down between them and destroys the machine. Klausner is deeply shaken and asks the doctor to paint the tree’s cuts with iodine. The doctor claims not to have heard anything, but he agrees to Klausner’s demands and dresses the wounds.

Reviews